Homophobia

I really don't understand anything about homophobia until I become involved with the Filipino Freethinkers - well, that was when I attended my very first Pride March. Before that I hate gays.

I remember going with some friends and in one conversation, I expressed my hatred with gay people to the point that I said I  would like to bash their heads with a baseball bat - unknown to me in that time that I was talking to a gay guy. He just laugh.

I guess my homophobia came from two sources: I am living in a country when machismo and sexism are considered virtue and for being a Born-Again Christian.

It is typical for misinformed Filipinos to consider homosexuality is an insult. No father in his right mind will consider a homosexual son (well, that's the idea). We hear children make fum of other kids by calling them "bakla" or "syoki" - a derogatory term that means you're gay. Unfortunately, not just kids. Adults call a guy bakla- as an insult - an insult for his manliness, his macho image!

sadly, Philippine media today (still) depict a "bakla" as a screaming faggot - a guy dress in weird colorful drags, fancy make-up and with a nauseating voice. We see them in comedy shows - not to be taken seriously. They work in beauty parlors or comedy bars, chatting merrily with other creatures who looks like them. We see them on variety shows every afternoon, with strange wigs (of different colors) to conceal their true gender. Yes… here in the Philippines, we still look at homosexuality this way. And how about the dykes? The homosexual woman? Well, they are just poor women who were never been kissed by a guy who looks like Robin Padilla or Bong Revilla - the epitome of how "real men" should look and act.

Religions here in the Philippines have introduce to the Filipinos that there are only two gender: Male and Female. To act unaccordingly from this label is considered a sin. Sacred scriptures have repeatedly instill an ancient way of looking at gender identity and how it is to be treated. God will punish a person acting in a way different from a destined life dictated by his sex. So we expect a man to act like a man and a woman to act as man's property. Any woman that defy this is considered a harlot and any man that defy his gender role is considered a sinner.

This shallow look at gender identities have opened a flood gate of more dangerous consequences compare to mere insults. We now have people executed, killed by order of religious clerics and Imams as punishment from God. We now have families torn apart because of this ancient idea. People that were to be riddled with guilt for their whole life. Guilt that will drive some of them to take their own life.

Thanks to science and freethough, we now understand, unlike what religion have taught us that sex and gender issues is not that easy and to identify someone as male or female isn't so clear-cut. We now understand that sex and gender isn't just about xx and xy. Sex is biological while gender is how you identify yourself and your experience.

A person's gender may change over their lifetime and culture is getting us new ways to express all of this. A good example is  what K-Pop is now doing in a highly conservative Korea.  

Sexuality is now about how you dress, how you act and talk, how you present yourself to the world. When we talk about gender identification, it's is really up to you. 

Sexuality is not just about picking if you are a "F" or a "M." It's now a large, spectrum not just 2 labels.