Baldy and the Bears

There are many disgusting stories in the bible. Totally disgusting! Other than that hot-headed Messiah and the Fig Tree, there’s one story you can find in the Old Testament. If you guys are not familiar with it...ah, just keep reading. 

The story can be found in 2 Kings 2:23-24. 

“From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!”  He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.” 

So, he doesn’t want to be called “baldy” but that’s OVERKILL!  42 children were killed gruesomely by bears because they called him baldy?  

Grabe namang mapikon. 

And, get this. He called The Lord to... wait, curse? I thought you can’t use the Name of the Lord in vain? And why will a so-called “God is Good” Lord approved of this? 

Christian apologists try to sanitize the story by saying they are not children, they are teenagers. Ah! So, when a group of teens calls me fatso, I could just mow down 42 of them using an M-16 automatic with the Lord’s blessing huh?  

Another Christian apologist says that Elisha’s life was in danger. What? He’s in danger because kids called him baldy?  besides, nothing in those verses says that they’re going to kill him. 

Anyways, whatever reason suggested there’s no good reason to massacre 42 kids just because you don’t like the way they tease you. Maybe instead of bears, he should ask his god with a pair of nice wig to cover his baldness.